Clutter From The Gutter
Monday 22 April 2024
For Your Viewing Pleasure
Spring has well and truly arrived, the sap has risen and with it came the realisation that I have been leaving the house in far too many layers of clothes.
Sunday 14 April 2024
Talk of the Wash House
That's all the holiday washing completed, it's taken Carmen 3 days, the lazy cow.
Monday 8 April 2024
Monday 18 March 2024
Benidorm Indoor Market
Saturday 27 January 2024
Thou Shall Not Be Common In Benidorm
There is some truth in the saying 'Red sky in the morning sailor's warning' or "shepherd's pie" if you're a div like my well-nourished maid of all work, Carmen, the above photograph was taken last Saturday, later that evening there was torrential rain and thunder storms. I haven't been sleeping too good, my fat arsed, over cushioned maid has been keeping me awake at night with her incessant snoring.
Brown toilet paper have you ever seen the likes?
(You can't tell it's brown from the photograph and you couldn't tell if it needed wiping again, just to be on the safe side and for peace of mind, I used the bidet.
She's all dressed up and ready to fall in love. |
The ideal footwear for showing him who's boss. |
A staff member at the hotel du bonbon, her friendly, fun appearance belied her true character, which was carping. |
Thursday 21 December 2023
Monday 4 December 2023
Saturday 25 November 2023
For Your Viewing Pleasure
Taken at the Castle Tea Room, York. |
Ere, you know lass singing this song?
Yer, it's good innit?
She's just released it's first ever video forrit 65 years after she recorded it.
Eee fancy! I thought she were dead.
Me too.
What wor it like, have you seen it?
Yer, it wor crap.
Friday 22 September 2023
Tuesday 22 August 2023
Tuesday 25 July 2023
Dahlia on the Piano
Sunday 9 July 2023
Jelly On A Plate...
You may be wondering why I'm showing you a picture of my grandad's old walking stick, I recently bought a skipping rope with a built in LCD display including a mode that counts how many jumps you've done, my goal was to perform 1000 jumps a day, a bit ambitious for someone who has never skipped before, Thursday evening I was on my 934th jump when I heard something that sounded like a bread knife piercing through a cabbage, I felt something give in my right calf and I was brought down to my knees (a bit like in Bears Bar but only quicker), the next day, Friday I became a cripple, my legs refused to work, I could stand and shuffle my feet but that's all, it reminded me of the time I took a short cut through a farmer's freshly ploughed field and became stuck in the mud, unable to move. I've been using the stick to get around the house, though never in public, thanks to some Ibuprofen gel, it has greatly improved and I'm able to walk unaided.
In my incapacitated state I was able to observe my maid of all work doing her household duties, she sprays Mr Sheen on her stockinged toes then goes around the house dusting the skirting boards using her foot (and she has the nerve to call me eccentric), she reminded me of Sue Kent from Gardener's World.
Tuesday 20 June 2023
Bridlington
Here comes a bikini whale Ahhhhhhhh! |
Wait for me boys! Nooo, don't run away! Distant view of Flamborough. |
Note to self, cancel Prime Thurs
Sunday 11 June 2023
Saturday 3 June 2023
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